There is a place in Downtown Los Angeles that is
simply magic. It is what Jumbo’s clown room used to be.
Take Alameda to Olympic and head west. Follow the
flashing light’s that look like you are in Vegas and you are
there. There are no cameras or cell phones allowed here.
Other forbidden items include hope, optimism and a positive
self image. The dancers have no soul in this place. If you
look one in the eye it is like looking into a shark’s eye. Do
you remember the way the captain from Jaws described a
shark’s eyeball? It is exactly the same. I will use the quote
from the movie to better help you understand. I will however
insert the word whore where shark used to be. ( In the
grizzled sea captains voice) “ Sometimes the whore looks
right at ya, right into your eye’s, and the thing is about a
whore, is she’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a dolls
eye”… No soul. So what makes this place magic you ask?
Well every time I’m here I am drunk so it is a bit foggy. I do
however remember one encounter with what I believe to be
a Korean stripper. I was sitting at the rail with my mate
enjoying a can of Tecate when she came around. She bent
over in front of us on her knees facing the other direction. I
threw $3 in front of my friend and she wiggled her filthy little
flytrap in front of him for a minute. She then moved to me. In
the same doggy style position she backed her clam almost
up to my face. It was mesmerizing. Now what I’ve learned in
my travels is that Korean ladies have very large labia lips.
This is a known fact. Going down on a Korean gal is like
sifting through a rack of bomber jackets. Hypnotized by her
large Korean Labia I followed her as she rocked back and
forth. She moved far away then Close again. She repeated
this pattern several times as we developed a rhythm
together. Almost dancing with one another we swayed back
and forth until she pulled way back. At this point I should
have sat back down. I realize that now. But hindsight is 20/
20 of course. And at the time I did not retreat. I held my
ground. Similar to Tsunami cases where victims are
paralyzed by the sight of a rapidly retreating tide. Such was
the case here. Sucked into her flower and immobilized with
intrigue she, like a Tsunami rapidly charged at me, exploding
against the shore of my face and nose! Bombarding me
again, and again with spiky revenge. It was so…so violent
and yet so precise. I fell back clutching my face in awe of
what just happened. My friend laughing as I held my
skewered face in measurable pain. It felt like someone
placed a live sea urchin in a tube sock and bashed me
several times! My friend yells “that’s how my roommate got
pink eye!” I’m no fan of pink eye, so I head to the restroom
to wash my face immediately. While in the bathroom I begin
to wonder how she acquired such attributes. Was this
learned behavior? Or even perhaps the result of natural
selection? Could it be she evolved this natural defense
through generations of whore evolution? Did she develop
this prickly resistance to discourage predators and
unacceptable mates. I may never know for certain, but
through proper research I may someday learn the truth. I
have seen my white whale and will venture back to its
habitat for further study. Any and all interest I have in Sam’s
Hoffbrau is purely scientific and in no way should be
misinterpreted as anything different.
No comments:
Post a Comment